Life is too short!

Hey Baby Girl,

It's been nearly a year since you left us.

And it's strange... But my perception of the world has changed dramatically!

I wanted to share this with you.

Because it's something i'll share with your brother and sister as they grow up, too.

It's about clarity of how you choose to live your life...

Most of the population, as I see it, sit in one of two groups of people:

The first group are the people who work for a paycheque. And with that paycheque, they exist.

They live. They work. They spend time with family and friends. They fall in love. They may start a family... They go on holidays. They have nights out.

They life a happy life. Mostly.

And their legacy is their impact on the remaining friends and family they leave behind.

Sure, there are ups and downs. But on balance, it's a good life.

The second group are the people who 'want to do more'.

Now that's a very cliché term... 'Want to do more'.

And I believe few know what it actually even means!

But losing you has brought me closer to that understanding than I ever was before...

Which of those two groups people sit in is fine. It's entirely their choice.

It's not like one is better than the other... It's whatever you want as a person. And that's ok. That's your right!

But if you ever find yourself in the second group, as I now do. Then I believe you need to realise something...

You see, a friend of mine has for many years, been fighting against cancer.

It's a fight they may one day lose... But they keep fighting it nonetheless!

And they say something on an almost daily basis...

"I ain't got the time!"

Because to them, they truly don't!

People enter their lives who they don't like spending time with... They stop spending time with them.

They get the urge to do something... They do it.

Their family come first, before ALL else! No late nights. No broken promises...

"I ain't got the time!"

I never understood the depth of those 5 little words, until we lost you.

People talk a lot about making the most of things.

'Find purpose'.

'Explore your passion'.

'Do something meaningful'.

The internet is littered with motivational 'influencers', pushing concepts like, 'Live your best life'.

But honestly, I doubt many really understand.

It's marketing and sales to them. And most of the time, they're oblivious to it...

Few truly get it!

What i've realised and come to believe, is amusingly quite simple (and obvious)...

It's not about us!

Over the years, professionally, i've achieved some pretty impressive things.

My CV, if you were to read it, would make a lot of people say something like, "Wow, you've done all of that!?!".

But when I look back on it all. I can honestly say I don't feel proud of what i've done.

Sure my ego is somewhat tweaked...

But proud...?

Nope!

What i'm proud of are the times i've helped people. The times i've stood up for people. The times i've saved people. The times i've defended or empowered, you guessed it... People.

The times i've had an impact not only on myself, my friends or my family...

But on others. Others whose names I don't even know.

The experience of your loss as a recent example:

The doctors who helped us.

The midwives who looked after Mummy.

The therapists who helped deal with our grief.

The funeral home who made planning your funeral so effortless.

The funeral director who gave me the confidence to carry your coffin into the crematorium. Carry you on my own. As I felt I needed to as your Daddy.

All those people sit in the second group.

It's their job. Yes.

But when they look back. They can be proud of the impact they have made on countless others.

I used to think I sat in the first group.

But now....?

Now I find myself 'wanting to do more'.

And looking back, that desire has always been there... I've just never realised it until now!

So the wisdom, if we can call it that, I will be imparting to your brother and sister. And now to you, is this:

Don't waste your years without realising which group you wanting to be in.

Life is too short.

"You ain't got the time!"

And that's not a cliché. That's fact.

It took losing you for me to realise it...

I realised it with enough years ahead, to follow the path I now choose to.

And I will be helping your brother and sister, to not only understand the difference. But to follow their chosen path, too.

Love you baby girl,

Daddy